I’m still here. In case you’re wondering.
My father passed away recently, after a short illness. I don’t feel depressed at the moment–just relief. Even though he wasn’t in a lot of pain, he suffered.
I learned this spring that dying isn’t easy. I had never heard of terminal restlessness before… how is that possible? Why are we not talking about it?
It is very stressful to watch someone you love go through such a painful process. From what I’ve read, Dad’s was on the milder side. Still, it was difficult to witness.
Now, it is time to move on. We’ve know that Dad wasn’t going to be cured; these past few months, I always thought about when the end would come and what it would look like. Those thoughts would constantly run in the background, making it difficult to focus on what was in front of me. Naturally I had difficulties thinking of the future and making plans. I suppose it’s time now to get back in the game. The tough part is that I was never really in the game.
Work is slow which means I’m only going in to the office one day a week. On one hand, I’m embracing all this time off. However, I know I’m going to hole up in my apartment (by myself) and watch TV for too many hours in the day–not exactly the best thing for my mental health.
I see a lot of people stating what their word of the day / week / month / year is. It’s usually ideas like gratitude, love, forgiveness, focus, etc. All worthwhile causes on which to meditate and perhaps to endorse.
I’d like to add my word: edit.
I think it’s funny that I choose this word because I have a tendency to go on when I tell stories (one guy that I worked with called them “Betty (my name) stories”. It didn’t occur to me several years later that I was known for my story-telling “style”. I have a flair for “spinning a story” as it may, but I also have difficulty leaving out the details and getting to the point. To me, details are everything, even if I don’t remember them accurately.
I digress. (Of course).
Most people’s stories (including my own) are not really that interesting. I also think that we’re not really that interested in listening to what other people have to say. For one, we’re so busy listening with our own judgements and second, we’re so desperate to tell our own story that we’re reluctant to really listen to what others have to say.
Want to keep me interested? Get to the point. I want to hear your story, I think it’s interesting but get to the point or at least ask me questions. See me squirming in my seat? It’s physically impossible for me to listen any longer! Give me a chance to ask questions. Better yet, ask me if something similar has happened to me. Get me involved. There are 7 billion people on this planet. We all have stories to tell!