Starting over (again)
I went to the gym yesterday after a 2-1/2 month lapse. Like most people, it’s a struggle doing “healthy” things and I’m no different.
I had made a deal with myself the day before, promising myself I would go to the gym. No questions asked. The morning came and my desire to go never manifested.
Fortunately, going to the gym was on my to-do list. And while I was in serious negotiation with myself to not go, I realized that even though I didn’t want to do it, I would feel more proud of myself if I did go.
So there I went. To the gym.
Signed in. Locked my bag up. Put my music on.
Wasn’t entirely sure what I was going to do but figured I should start doing what I had done in the past. I knew I didn’t have a lot of energy so I cut out the intense cardio and just went to the weights, which, oddly enough, I don’t mind doing.
After 1 minute, I knew I really wasn’t in to it. I wanted to stop.
A little conversation I had in my head:
“Keep going.” I do one more set.
“Don’t want to do this.”
“I reaaaallly don’t have the energy to do this.”
“OK. Finish this set and go home.”
Time elapsed at the gym: 7 minutes.
Guilt or shame: 0
I went. And that’s what matters. Next time I go, I’m pretty sure I’ll have more energy and can work a bit harder.
I read a wonderful article about “starting over” in Yoga Journal a while ago and it made a big difference in my life.
For those of use that are chronically depressed or under-achievers, starting over is our saving grace. We can’t give up. We can only start over.
And yesterday, I started over.