Archive | January 15, 2013

Struggling… struggling…

I’m still here, in case anyone is wondering.

On auto-pilot.

Just getting through the day(s).

If I could hang on for another 6 weeks, I might be able to make some more positive changes. Like exercising, for example.

The anxiety monster visited last week. I could feel its presence coming into the room, before it quickly took over my body and mind. As I was getting ready for bed, I felt it slowly creep up my legs, tighten around my arms and finally suppress rational thinking. It held me hostage until the morning. Fortunately, after my shower, I felt it release its grip and retreat a bit. I made it to work.

God, I’m so tired.

It’s difficult to make plans, to feel positive, in this state. It’s difficult to see a future. Very depressing.

I can’t move forward when I’m in this state which I find incredibly frustrating.