Archive | May 2012

So… so… so… I don’t know

… so fucked up?

There’s Sarah Burke, an amazingly driven woman, determined and talented and so full of life. In love with and loved by a good guy. Dead.

Cathy, mother of 2 beautiful children, wife to an amazing man, is in the first year of being diagnosed with ALS. She will slowly wither and die while the people she loves and is loved by, watch.

There are so many others like them.

They are the ones, their friends and family as well, who will say that life is short. Go out and live it fully! And many other life-affirming things, no doubt all ending with exclamation marks!

For me, life is not short enough. Quite frankly, I find it long. I’m 40. In all likelihood, I’m going to live until I’m 80+.

My dad is over 80 and in pretty decent shape – physically, mentally, emotionally.

The days are long, the weekends long, the years long.

The good news is that I’m much more accepting of my “fate”, if that’s what you want to call it. I’m less angry, less frustrated than a few years ago. Less rage, thank god! (There’s my exclamation mark.)

However, at the end of the day, it’s me lacking that spark. Despite all the good things in my life, I’m just missing the drive.

Advertisements